I can't sleep

I should be sleeping right now because it is two in the morning and I intended to get up fairly early tomorrow. I took an hour and a half long nap earlier, big mistake because now I can't sleep.

I really like this apartment that I'm living in. I like the sound of the cars on the street below, and the trams that go by every 15 minutes or so. I like that the sun shines into my window in the morning. I also kind of liked how at 10pm today it was still bright as day out. I definitely liked the fact that even though by noon it was very hot in my room, when I opened the window the nice cool air came in and I didn't have to worry about the heat.

I met the two girls I'm sharing my apartment with today. One of them is from Spain, her name is Isa. I had met her the first day I was here but only for a brief moment. I regret to say that I can't remember the name of the girl from England but she was nice. They were both studying European studies as well, though I think the English girl was only here for the one year. Isa, I'm not really sure about. The English girl offered to give me some clothes hangers and little organization bins that she won't be taking home with her, and those will be nice to have. She is actually leaving Tuesday, so I guess her time as my roommate is particularly short.

While this is a very nice apartment and they are very nice people, I can't wait til August when I get a more permanent apartment with roommates who are new to the town as well. I'm interested in finding out where they are from. There are 3 apartments near mine and I know there are a couple French girls living in one. They were at the little dinner party that they had in my apartment last night.

I should really force myself to sleep. Maybe eventually I'll get tired.

Nederland!

Okay!  16 hours of planes and airports, and a day later, here I am!

I got in to Amsterdam yesterday around 13:30, Jennifer and Tessa and Simona came to pick me up.  So nice of them.  Too bad they had to stand around and wait for me while I tried to find my baggage, I have never seen that many people in the baggage claim area at that airport.  You know, in all the two times I've been there.  Well, it is the summer. I suppose it makes sense.

So, with it being the summer and all, the first day I was here, Friday, it was cold and rainy all day. Tessa cursed at the rain a lot but hey, I like rain. So it's fine by me.  We kind of just did a bit of running around on Friday, nothing horribly important.  They were going to just take me to my apartment that I am sub-renting but since it took so long to get my bags we were behind schedule a bit, and after driving around The Hague we made an about-face and accompanied Tessa to the place where she needed to teach children how to swim.  Yay, swimming lessons!  Eventually I did get to my apartment though, and everything seemed pretty straight-forward about that.  I have very good internet here, too.  This will definitely work well for the next few months.

I was so exhausted last night that I fell asleep at about 9:30, then woke at half past midnight, freaking out. I'm not sure why I was freaking out.  I can't remember. There is really something strange about taking off from Seattle at 4:30 in the afternoon and landing seven and a half hours later at 7:00 in the morning without the sun ever having gone down (I know this because I am pretty sure that the woman across from me on the plane was the only person in the entire plane to leave her window open for the entire flight, and the sun was shining bright and clear through it the entire way.)  Anyway, during those 16 hours of travel I got maybe 10 minutes of sleep, on the very last flight, and only because the cute little boy next to me put his head between his knees and fell asleep and I thought that it looked like it would be nice to sleep too, so I closed my windows for him and then tried to take a little nap myself, but then the flight attendant came over the speakers saying we would be landing in Amsterdam soon and that woke me up right away.  I couldn't help but smile so big as we were landing, I was so excited. I had been waiting patiently to return to Europe for six months!

So today the weather was much nicer, so Simona's boyfriend drove Jenn, Tess and Simona to pick me up, and then took us to Scheveningen, the beach.  And we had a great day!  We went to see 21 Jump Street, which was probably one of the stupidest movies I've seen in quite a while.  It was also enormously hilarious though, so it all paid out.  After that we walked on the beach trying to find somewhere to eat (which we eventually did), ate delicious food, watched Tess and Moon play a couple arcade games, and then we were picked up to go back home. A great day, really! I think in the future it would be useful to have days like this, but that don't involve spending a lot of money.

When I got back to my apartment, my roommates were having a little party.  Not a big deal there, they are a bit noisy but it's not like I'm sleeping at the moment. I can hear a million different languages out there, it's too bad I'm afraid of people or I'd go out there. They did all say hi to me when I came in.  It's okay, I don't want to interrupt their meal.  I think they are all saying goodbye, because the school year is almost over and they are all heading back to their home countries.

I am so happy to be back here. I think I will have a great summer.

Moving Forward

I don't really know what to think right now.  I've got less than two weeks before I leave and I'm ready, but I'm not ready.

I still haven't packed up my room.  I don't really know where to start.  I know, the best place to start is probably in my room, but I don't know where to go after that.  Where do I start?  Or more importantly, where do I end?  Because the last things I pack into boxes here in this bedroom that I've lived in for the last four years, in this house that I've lived in for the past twenty years, will basically be the last things I'll see of the way my life was up until the point that I walk out the door on June 14th.

I'm not scared, or worried, about going to the Netherlands, and living there on my own for a while.  Truthfully, I'm very excited.  The part that gets to me is knowing that I'm leaving my old self, and my old life behind. I can't go back now. I'm not saying that I'm going to want to go back.  Just knowing that I can't is a more difficult concept than I think a lot of people want to accept.  Honestly, I don't see many people who do a whole lot to dramatically change their lives.  I can understand it.  It's not easy to accept that there is really no turning point.  Your experiences make you who you are. You can't take back the experiences that changed your life. All you can do is move forward.

As soon as I can make it through the packing of this dang room, I'll be ready. I'll be ready to move forward and let my life change.  As I said, I'm very excited, and I can't wait.

Priorities.  Before you can change your life, you must pack your bedroom.