Update: Thursday 13 Mar

I'm sorry I didn't write this past Sunday, but I'm making up for it now. I did open my blog page and intend to write a post, but I've been working really hard this week to get my priorities in order and writing a blog post just wasn't at the top of the list.

Last week, I told you about my current struggles. I don't want to downplay those at all, because I feel like at least for now they're going to remain a constant threat. I'm handling it way better right now than I was a week ago, though. This week I spent probably just over 20 hours at the school library, working on a report that was due yesterday. I also worked on it this last weekend, which is why I didn't write a blog post. There are so many things I want to be doing instead of work, but none of them are even that big. I'd rather be watching a movie, or writing a blog post, or doing a sudoku puzzle, or plotting out my next meal.

I've never actually been able to get any work done at school. This is why, Monday after classes, I went to the school library and combed through it looking for a quiet place to work. I found that I actually really enjoy sitting downstairs in the silent section of the library, at one of the little private study carrels. Yeah, sure, I still had distractions, that's what happens when I'm doing my work on my computer—the internet is a very large distraction. So maybe out of 20 collective hours, I only worked for about 15 of them. It doesn't matter, I still wrote an 18 page strategic business report and turned it in.

So my next thing to focus on is a couple of book essays due next Friday. I'm a quick reader, so that's not a problem, and one of them is to be done with a partner, so that also eases a little of the stress off me. After that is exam week, and the exam that I need to focus on is Friday, so I have about a week to study after I get the book reviews turned in, and I think it will work out just fine.

I managed to get myself my own cheerleader to help me stay focused and positive. I was talking to my friend Morgan at some point last week, and I told her that I was stressed and overwhelmed. She told me to tell her about it, so I did. Now she's been checking up on my progress every day, and just being extremely helpful overall. I was feeling pretty hopeless before, and I'm not sure that I could have snapped out of it without her to encourage me. Yay, Morgan.

Now, I'm getting really excited. Ever since I adopted this more positive attitude, I can't help but think of the future and how close I am to where I want to be. If I can continue getting back on track, a year from now I will be in the middle of an internship and only a few months away from graduating. That's absolutely insane, I feel like I just started yesterday. So now I've been spending quite a bit of time looking for internships in various cities in the US (in order of preference: Seattle, San Francisco, and NYC), because I want to do my internship closer to home. I want to move back to the US after graduation, and I feel like an internship in the US would help me make my European Studies bachelor degree a little more relevant to an American company. I really love living in the Netherlands, and I'm really not looking forward to leaving it behind, but I am looking forward to going somewhere new. As much as I do want to live in the Netherlands, I don't want to work in the Netherlands. Besides, I miss Mom and Dad, and if I get a job doing what I want I can save money to come back and visit every once in a while. And I'm sure my friends would come to visit me. It'll work out in the end, I'm confident of it.

I'm a work in progress, guys.