Sometimes I wish I had the time, money and patience to just go to school forever. The time and patience thing are tied together; I don't want to spend the rest of my life going to school, and I don't have the patience to keep going to school forever without any breaks. The money part, I believe, is pretty self-explanatory. It's not that I want to keep going to school just to avoid having a real life… Actually, I can't wait until I've graduated so that I can get a job and start really living… But I want to learn more. I want to finish my European Studies degree, but I also want a degree in linguistics, and a degree in marketing; I just want to study everything. I'm thinking that maybe I will, but not any time soon.
I don't know if you think that I don't write because I forget to write, or because I forget I have a blog, or maybe because I forget you guys are looking out for updates. It's not any of that. I think about it quite often. I just struggle sometimes to come up with something with which to fill these pages. I would rather write to you guys about something than give you 5 paragraphs of nothing, and I think I've been going the "nothing" route too much these last few months.
I've been thinking about things lately… Making backup plans. I hate to both acknowledge and admit that I'm making backup plans. I don't want a backup plan. I want my current plan to work. I'm not saying that it's not going to work; I'm still doing everything I can to pass all of my classes. It's just that I would hate for it to end up not working, and then I end up with no plan. See, the IND (Immigration and Naturalisation Service) here in the Netherlands decided that there were going to be new rules this year; initially, in order to continue my program, I only needed to be sure I get my first year diploma within two years, and then make sufficient progress the following years. Now they've put a stricter guideline on it. They say I have to have earned half of my credits each year in order to retain my residence permit. The part that makes this difficult is that even if I pass half of my exams, it doesn't mean I earn half of my credits. Some modules have multiple exams, and I have to pass every exam within the module to earn any credits; even though those exams count as separate courses. It's really complicated to explain, but for example one of my minors this term, American Business and Politics, has three parts. There's an American Business class (5 credits), an American Politics class (4 credits) and an American Culture class (6 credits). In order to earn all 15 credits, I have to pass all three exams. I already passed the Business and Politics classes, but I think the American Culture exam is going to kick my butt. On the exam, they will give us 20 quotes from 20 different literary texts that are "important to American culture" and we have to identify the name of the text and the author. The remarkable thing is that I'm not familiar with a lot of these texts. This course was supposed to give us knowledge that would help us relate to Americans culturally, and I don't even know most of the reading material. They're all historical texts, quite a few dating back to colonial days. You would think that as an American, I should be able to find relevancy in the study material. Of all the things I should have to worry about…
Anyway, this means I have to pass at least 40 credits this year, and I'm sure I have passed the equivalent of that much, but I haven't actually been credited with them because I didn't pass all exams in the module. Heaps of frustration and stress involved in that. The lovely part is that we have to have passed these before July 1 apparently, and they only informed us of this at the end of March. Which, by the way, we had 40 credits worth of exams in January, and another 15 credits of exams in March. We can't resit any of those until August. I am supposed to go talk to someone about it, the dean of my academy, but he's never in office when I go by (even though it's during his listed office hours). If they really expect us to have gotten that done by July 1, they should have told us sooner…
The thing is, I have 11 credits from my first semester (I know, 11 is really lame) and my minors should give me 30 credits this semester, so I should be fine, but if I can't pass that American Culture class, or if I mess up with one of my other courses? Maybe I have no reason to worry, but I worry anyway. Worry, worry, worry.
And backup plans.
2014-06-15
2014-05-25
Update: Sunday 25 May
Hi! I made a scarf. Now it's too warm to wear such a scarf. But I made it nonetheless. It looks kind of like the one in that picture. Actually, it looks exactly like the one in that picture. Except minus maybe the crochet hook hanging off the end. It's not the best scarf ever, but it's the first thing I've ever completed, so whatever.Uhhh. I don't have much to say. I just thought maybe you missed me and wanted a blog post.
I have been playing with my digital camera lately. I guess I forgot that it focuses so much better than my phone's camera. I thought I should take the camera and go for a walk around the city but I'm so lazy. Besides, I never know what to take pictures of. Maybe I should just carry it with me all the time.
This is a picture I took of Lola the bearded dragon, in the kitchen. You can even see a piece of hair stuck on her nose. Oops. She is a very photogenic reptile.
Aphids! On the plant in the kitchen. Not the prettiest sight, I know. I've never seen aphids before… It's Ian's plant, I showed him the aphids and told him they will kill the plant and that made him sad because he thinks the aphids are really cool. I'm not really sure if it would be smart to put ladybugs on a houseplant, so I don't really know what will be done about them…Last but not least, cat. He just went in on Friday for a… gender-altering operation. He seems unaffected. He's a cat, not sure what else would be expected.
Those are all the pictures I have to share right now. And I have nothing else to say.
2014-04-30
Update: Wednesday 30 Apr
Happy I-haven't-updated-in-a-long-time Day!
Uhm, so hi. I haven't posted mostly because I haven't been doing much. I'm not sure if I mentioned that I passed my first year exam? I did. I passed. I was so happy. It took almost three weeks to get my results and I was so anxious. But then I got them, and I passed, and now I have only one more to pass and I know that I will.
Last weekend, the Netherlands had its first ever King's Day. King Willem-Alexander's birthday was Sunday, but they can't celebrate on a Sunday, so King's Day this year was April 26. This means that Friday, April 25 was King's night, and we happened to go to a movie that night without realizing/remembering that it was King's night. It was very crowded when we went to the movie, but that was nothing compared to after the movie. Try riding a bicycle through the city center at 11pm when most of the people are wandering down the main street towards the main bar area and they're too drunk to realize that bike paths are for BIKES. Bikes. Not people. It was kind of cool though, there were so many people out and a huge carnival over by the parliament building, and bands playing in various different places around the city center, so it was loud and crowded but nice to see that kind of patriotism for once. In general, extreme patriotism (outside of football aka soccer) is kind of frowned upon in Europe, following the two world wars… You don't see people hanging their Dutch flags outside their homes year-round. I've heard from a few people that they find that little fact kind of endearing about the USA. They think it's cool how proud people are to be American. I think that's kind of cool too. That's why I like King's Day. For once, people go out and hang Dutch flags, wear orange, celebrate their royal family. They get to show their pride.
What else did I want to write about today? Oh, right. For the past year or so, I've been trying really hard to like more foods. I figure that I might as well try to like as many foods as possible, because there's no harm in broadening my horizons, right? For example, I already mentioned that I tried and liked the Brussels sprouts, which I had never liked before. I have had them in the past; specifically, I remember one night staying at a friend's house, and her parents made Brussels sprouts for dinner. They told me I could eat just one and that was fine, but they made her eat a whole helping of them and we were at the dinner table for quite a while that night. That was a long time ago though, when I was 15, and I just remember how much I really didn't like the one that I ate (I did eat it though, because I have always made it a point to eat what I am given when I'm at someone's house). Anyway, other things. I never used to care for avocados unless it was in guacamole form, but now I buy one every once in a while and just put it on everything and I love it. Avocado sushi is delicious. Uhm. There are quite a few examples, but the main thing I wanted to talk about was pineapple.
I've never liked pineapple. My dad used to put canned pineapple in his sweet and sour stuff when he made it, and while I love his sweet and sour sauce, I could never eat the pineapple pieces. I would pawn those off on my sister. Anyway, for the past month or so I had been eyeing pineapples every time I was in the store. I couldn't rationalize buying a big pineapple for €2.50 though when I thought I didn't like them… But the main reason I resisted was because I had read that a pineapple is ripe when it smells sweet—when it smells like a pineapple even through the shell. It's hard to find a ripe pineapple around here, apparently. I also read that pineapples do not and can not shelf-ripen. Okay. So two weeks ago, I finally found one that was ripe. I bought it. I took it home. I chopped it up and put it in a container to stick in the fridge. It didn't work, though. I thought, a whole pineapple should last at least a few days right? I ate the whole thing that day. It was so good. And then I thought, I don't need to do that again, I just ate €2.50 in one sitting—which maybe doesn't seem too bad, but it's all sugar. Anyway, two days later I was in the store and found another ripe pineapple… I couldn't pass it up. I bought two pineapples in one week. The second one lasted me a few days, at least. Then I wasn't going to buy any more pineapples, but surprise! Last week, one of the grocery stores had pineapples on sale. They didn't have any ripe ones though, but I bought one anyway. I guess I learned my lesson—that one wasn't as delicious as the other ones. But still. In the last two weeks, I bought and consumed 3 whole pineapples. I guess I can't say I don't like pineapple anymore.
Uhm, so hi. I haven't posted mostly because I haven't been doing much. I'm not sure if I mentioned that I passed my first year exam? I did. I passed. I was so happy. It took almost three weeks to get my results and I was so anxious. But then I got them, and I passed, and now I have only one more to pass and I know that I will.
Last weekend, the Netherlands had its first ever King's Day. King Willem-Alexander's birthday was Sunday, but they can't celebrate on a Sunday, so King's Day this year was April 26. This means that Friday, April 25 was King's night, and we happened to go to a movie that night without realizing/remembering that it was King's night. It was very crowded when we went to the movie, but that was nothing compared to after the movie. Try riding a bicycle through the city center at 11pm when most of the people are wandering down the main street towards the main bar area and they're too drunk to realize that bike paths are for BIKES. Bikes. Not people. It was kind of cool though, there were so many people out and a huge carnival over by the parliament building, and bands playing in various different places around the city center, so it was loud and crowded but nice to see that kind of patriotism for once. In general, extreme patriotism (outside of football aka soccer) is kind of frowned upon in Europe, following the two world wars… You don't see people hanging their Dutch flags outside their homes year-round. I've heard from a few people that they find that little fact kind of endearing about the USA. They think it's cool how proud people are to be American. I think that's kind of cool too. That's why I like King's Day. For once, people go out and hang Dutch flags, wear orange, celebrate their royal family. They get to show their pride.
What else did I want to write about today? Oh, right. For the past year or so, I've been trying really hard to like more foods. I figure that I might as well try to like as many foods as possible, because there's no harm in broadening my horizons, right? For example, I already mentioned that I tried and liked the Brussels sprouts, which I had never liked before. I have had them in the past; specifically, I remember one night staying at a friend's house, and her parents made Brussels sprouts for dinner. They told me I could eat just one and that was fine, but they made her eat a whole helping of them and we were at the dinner table for quite a while that night. That was a long time ago though, when I was 15, and I just remember how much I really didn't like the one that I ate (I did eat it though, because I have always made it a point to eat what I am given when I'm at someone's house). Anyway, other things. I never used to care for avocados unless it was in guacamole form, but now I buy one every once in a while and just put it on everything and I love it. Avocado sushi is delicious. Uhm. There are quite a few examples, but the main thing I wanted to talk about was pineapple.
I've never liked pineapple. My dad used to put canned pineapple in his sweet and sour stuff when he made it, and while I love his sweet and sour sauce, I could never eat the pineapple pieces. I would pawn those off on my sister. Anyway, for the past month or so I had been eyeing pineapples every time I was in the store. I couldn't rationalize buying a big pineapple for €2.50 though when I thought I didn't like them… But the main reason I resisted was because I had read that a pineapple is ripe when it smells sweet—when it smells like a pineapple even through the shell. It's hard to find a ripe pineapple around here, apparently. I also read that pineapples do not and can not shelf-ripen. Okay. So two weeks ago, I finally found one that was ripe. I bought it. I took it home. I chopped it up and put it in a container to stick in the fridge. It didn't work, though. I thought, a whole pineapple should last at least a few days right? I ate the whole thing that day. It was so good. And then I thought, I don't need to do that again, I just ate €2.50 in one sitting—which maybe doesn't seem too bad, but it's all sugar. Anyway, two days later I was in the store and found another ripe pineapple… I couldn't pass it up. I bought two pineapples in one week. The second one lasted me a few days, at least. Then I wasn't going to buy any more pineapples, but surprise! Last week, one of the grocery stores had pineapples on sale. They didn't have any ripe ones though, but I bought one anyway. I guess I learned my lesson—that one wasn't as delicious as the other ones. But still. In the last two weeks, I bought and consumed 3 whole pineapples. I guess I can't say I don't like pineapple anymore.
2014-03-27
Not an Update: Thursday 27 Mar
This is not an update, it's a food dump.
Fried rice! I'm pretty sure this particular one had multigrain rice (white rice, brown rice, wild rice, barley and wheat), onion, broccoli, green beans, brussels sprouts, asparagus, carrots, red peppers, garlic, egg, and the kitchen sink. Oh, and ginger, mirin, soy sauce, sesame oil, and sriracha. I've been making a lot of fried rice lately. I love fried rice!
This is that same multigrain rice, and some random vegetables sautéed with tomato paste and Indian spices. I made this one quite a while ago, and all I remember about it was that it was delicious.
Soup. Obviously. This one was also quite a while ago, and I don't remember exactly what was in it, but obviously it had corn and diced tomatoes and zucchini and onion and pasta and mushrooms. Also, Italian herbs.
Potato chips, baked in the oven. They were awesome, but time consuming and honestly a pain in the butt to make. I would make them all the time if it wasn't for that.
Applesauce, which I made yesterday. I used 3 sweet apples and two sour apples and it didn't end up needing any sugar at all.
This is chow mein, even though it's the wrong kinds of noodles. It was really good. They don't make/sell chow mein here. They sell some kind of Indonesian fried noodle dish instead, because there is a lot of Indonesian influence in the culture here.
I don't think that anything can really make split pea soup look good. I have to admit, I contributed nothing to this dish, you can buy a package in the store for "Dutch split pea soup" and you're supposed to add smoked sausage and bacon but I don't need those. Basically I chopped everything in the package and cooked it, but that's about it. Delicious anyway.
Noodle soup, and a softboiled egg. First time making softboiled eggs, I wasn't sure if I would like that yolk like that. I did, so it all worked out perfectly.
That's all the pictures I could find. One day, when I actually have fridge space and cupboard space, I will be able to buy the stuff I need to make nicer dinners, but I think I do pretty well with what I've got. Tonight I'm making chili, with black beans and kidney beans and sweet potatoes and quinoa, and a chipotle bouillon cube (among other things). Sounds kind of busy, I know, but that's okay.
This is that same multigrain rice, and some random vegetables sautéed with tomato paste and Indian spices. I made this one quite a while ago, and all I remember about it was that it was delicious.
Potato chips, baked in the oven. They were awesome, but time consuming and honestly a pain in the butt to make. I would make them all the time if it wasn't for that.
Applesauce, which I made yesterday. I used 3 sweet apples and two sour apples and it didn't end up needing any sugar at all.This is chow mein, even though it's the wrong kinds of noodles. It was really good. They don't make/sell chow mein here. They sell some kind of Indonesian fried noodle dish instead, because there is a lot of Indonesian influence in the culture here.
Noodle soup, and a softboiled egg. First time making softboiled eggs, I wasn't sure if I would like that yolk like that. I did, so it all worked out perfectly.
That's all the pictures I could find. One day, when I actually have fridge space and cupboard space, I will be able to buy the stuff I need to make nicer dinners, but I think I do pretty well with what I've got. Tonight I'm making chili, with black beans and kidney beans and sweet potatoes and quinoa, and a chipotle bouillon cube (among other things). Sounds kind of busy, I know, but that's okay.
2014-03-24
Update: Monday 24 Mar
I spent all week looking forward to Sunday so that I could post, and then when Sunday comes I forget to actually post.
Hmm, what did I want to say? Well, I discovered that I got a 7 on the report that I turned in last week. I'm so proud, I thought I wouldn't be able to turn it in at all, but then I did and got a 7. He told us our scores this previous Monday, after we took the open-book exam in class. That was a bit strange, I've never had an in-class open question exam at this school before. It is a minor though, and not part of my actual study, so I guess things may work a bit differently. I don't know how I did on the exam, but our final grade is 50% exam and 50% report, so he said as long as I got at least a 4, it's a pass. I'm pretty sure I did much better than 4. The exam had 9 questions and the last question was worth 10 points and asked "What did you think of the course?" Yeah, if I don't at least get that question right I think it'd be pretty sad.
Exam week was supposed to start today, but didn't. I'll tell you why. I'm not sure if you know this, but the Netherlands is hosting the Nuclear Security Summit this year. Yeah, that's a pretty big deal. This apparently is the largest world conference that has ever been held in the Netherlands, and they have dignitaries from all over the world here. Oh wait, did I mention that it's actually being held here, in The Hague? Yes, so as we speak the president of the United States is right here in this city with me (Jenn just told me she saw his helicopter, in fact), along with the president of Finland and France and Armenia… and you know, just a lot of countries in general. What does that mean for me? Well, it means that today and tomorrow half of the roads in the city are closed, all the bus and tram schedules are delayed, rearranged or cancelled, half the trains are not going, and just everything in general is in chaos. The school initially thought that they could still hold exams today and tomorrow and just let everyone know to leave a few hours earlier than they normally would, but then it was decided that having exams on these days would not be feasible. So… they've all been postponed.
Now I have 3 exams to take, on Wednesday, Friday and the following Wednesday, and then I'm ready to start the next term. Or at least, I hope I'll be ready. The Friday after my last exam, we're going out for sushi for Tessa's birthday, and also that week there is a movie coming out that we've all been looking forward to. Should be a good end to the term, especially since I'm going to pass all of my exams.
Hmm, what did I want to say? Well, I discovered that I got a 7 on the report that I turned in last week. I'm so proud, I thought I wouldn't be able to turn it in at all, but then I did and got a 7. He told us our scores this previous Monday, after we took the open-book exam in class. That was a bit strange, I've never had an in-class open question exam at this school before. It is a minor though, and not part of my actual study, so I guess things may work a bit differently. I don't know how I did on the exam, but our final grade is 50% exam and 50% report, so he said as long as I got at least a 4, it's a pass. I'm pretty sure I did much better than 4. The exam had 9 questions and the last question was worth 10 points and asked "What did you think of the course?" Yeah, if I don't at least get that question right I think it'd be pretty sad.
Exam week was supposed to start today, but didn't. I'll tell you why. I'm not sure if you know this, but the Netherlands is hosting the Nuclear Security Summit this year. Yeah, that's a pretty big deal. This apparently is the largest world conference that has ever been held in the Netherlands, and they have dignitaries from all over the world here. Oh wait, did I mention that it's actually being held here, in The Hague? Yes, so as we speak the president of the United States is right here in this city with me (Jenn just told me she saw his helicopter, in fact), along with the president of Finland and France and Armenia… and you know, just a lot of countries in general. What does that mean for me? Well, it means that today and tomorrow half of the roads in the city are closed, all the bus and tram schedules are delayed, rearranged or cancelled, half the trains are not going, and just everything in general is in chaos. The school initially thought that they could still hold exams today and tomorrow and just let everyone know to leave a few hours earlier than they normally would, but then it was decided that having exams on these days would not be feasible. So… they've all been postponed.Now I have 3 exams to take, on Wednesday, Friday and the following Wednesday, and then I'm ready to start the next term. Or at least, I hope I'll be ready. The Friday after my last exam, we're going out for sushi for Tessa's birthday, and also that week there is a movie coming out that we've all been looking forward to. Should be a good end to the term, especially since I'm going to pass all of my exams.
2014-03-16
Update: Sunday 16 Mar
Did you know?
My parents' anniversary is in 2 days. They've never actually told me how long they've been married, although I've asked. I figured 25 or 26 years, because my brother will be 24 years old in July. I have to stalk my own parents' Facebook pages to figure out what year they got married. 25 years of marriage is definitely something to look up to. Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad. I love you.
Also, I had to steal that picture from my sister because pictures which feature my father are a rare and valuable artifact.
Let's see. No news back about the report yet, but it's only been a few days. I have an exam for that same class tomorrow, it's open book. Wish me luck that all will go well?
Tonight for dinner I'm making pizza. I made dough a few days ago, and I wasn't going to actually use it for pizza, but now I really want pizza. I have no idea if I even have any cheese. I do have cheese but I've had it forever (I don't eat cheese very often) so I'm not sure if it's any good. That's okay though, I can eat cheeseless pizza no problem. I have in the past, although that was with pesto in place of the sauce, and onions and tomatoes. I don't have pesto today, I have tomato paste. I would rather have cheese than no cheese but I'm not going to go out and buy any just for that. Don't worry, I am sure it will be delicious no matter what.
Do you know what would make my pizza even more delicious though? A cast iron skillet. I desperately want a cast iron skillet. I could buy one, for only about $10 on Amazon (of course shipping is another issue, but never mind that). The thing is, I don't want to have to transport it to the US if/when I move back, and I don't want to buy cast iron just to sell it. I have more than enough things to worry about transporting, and there's not much point to buying cast iron cookware if you're not going to keep it for… forever. Anyway, I have a few recipes for pan pizzas made in cast iron skillets, so I guess I'll save those for the day I have one.
Anyway, I have books to read. Have a nice week!
My parents' anniversary is in 2 days. They've never actually told me how long they've been married, although I've asked. I figured 25 or 26 years, because my brother will be 24 years old in July. I have to stalk my own parents' Facebook pages to figure out what year they got married. 25 years of marriage is definitely something to look up to. Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad. I love you.Also, I had to steal that picture from my sister because pictures which feature my father are a rare and valuable artifact.
Let's see. No news back about the report yet, but it's only been a few days. I have an exam for that same class tomorrow, it's open book. Wish me luck that all will go well?
Tonight for dinner I'm making pizza. I made dough a few days ago, and I wasn't going to actually use it for pizza, but now I really want pizza. I have no idea if I even have any cheese. I do have cheese but I've had it forever (I don't eat cheese very often) so I'm not sure if it's any good. That's okay though, I can eat cheeseless pizza no problem. I have in the past, although that was with pesto in place of the sauce, and onions and tomatoes. I don't have pesto today, I have tomato paste. I would rather have cheese than no cheese but I'm not going to go out and buy any just for that. Don't worry, I am sure it will be delicious no matter what.
Do you know what would make my pizza even more delicious though? A cast iron skillet. I desperately want a cast iron skillet. I could buy one, for only about $10 on Amazon (of course shipping is another issue, but never mind that). The thing is, I don't want to have to transport it to the US if/when I move back, and I don't want to buy cast iron just to sell it. I have more than enough things to worry about transporting, and there's not much point to buying cast iron cookware if you're not going to keep it for… forever. Anyway, I have a few recipes for pan pizzas made in cast iron skillets, so I guess I'll save those for the day I have one.
Anyway, I have books to read. Have a nice week!
2014-03-13
Update: Thursday 13 Mar
I'm sorry I didn't write this past Sunday, but I'm making up for it now. I did open my blog page and intend to write a post, but I've been working really hard this week to get my priorities in order and writing a blog post just wasn't at the top of the list.
Last week, I told you about my current struggles. I don't want to downplay those at all, because I feel like at least for now they're going to remain a constant threat. I'm handling it way better right now than I was a week ago, though. This week I spent probably just over 20 hours at the school library, working on a report that was due yesterday. I also worked on it this last weekend, which is why I didn't write a blog post. There are so many things I want to be doing instead of work, but none of them are even that big. I'd rather be watching a movie, or writing a blog post, or doing a sudoku puzzle, or plotting out my next meal.
I've never actually been able to get any work done at school. This is why, Monday after classes, I went to the school library and combed through it looking for a quiet place to work. I found that I actually really enjoy sitting downstairs in the silent section of the library, at one of the little private study carrels. Yeah, sure, I still had distractions, that's what happens when I'm doing my work on my computer—the internet is a very large distraction. So maybe out of 20 collective hours, I only worked for about 15 of them. It doesn't matter, I still wrote an 18 page strategic business report and turned it in.
So my next thing to focus on is a couple of book essays due next Friday. I'm a quick reader, so that's not a problem, and one of them is to be done with a partner, so that also eases a little of the stress off me. After that is exam week, and the exam that I need to focus on is Friday, so I have about a week to study after I get the book reviews turned in, and I think it will work out just fine.
I managed to get myself my own cheerleader to help me stay focused and positive. I was talking to my friend Morgan at some point last week, and I told her that I was stressed and overwhelmed. She told me to tell her about it, so I did. Now she's been checking up on my progress every day, and just being extremely helpful overall. I was feeling pretty hopeless before, and I'm not sure that I could have snapped out of it without her to encourage me. Yay, Morgan.
Now, I'm getting really excited. Ever since I adopted this more positive attitude, I can't help but think of the future and how close I am to where I want to be. If I can continue getting back on track, a year from now I will be in the middle of an internship and only a few months away from graduating. That's absolutely insane, I feel like I just started yesterday. So now I've been spending quite a bit of time looking for internships in various cities in the US (in order of preference: Seattle, San Francisco, and NYC), because I want to do my internship closer to home. I want to move back to the US after graduation, and I feel like an internship in the US would help me make my European Studies bachelor degree a little more relevant to an American company. I really love living in the Netherlands, and I'm really not looking forward to leaving it behind, but I am looking forward to going somewhere new. As much as I do want to live in the Netherlands, I don't want to work in the Netherlands. Besides, I miss Mom and Dad, and if I get a job doing what I want I can save money to come back and visit every once in a while. And I'm sure my friends would come to visit me. It'll work out in the end, I'm confident of it.
I'm a work in progress, guys.
Last week, I told you about my current struggles. I don't want to downplay those at all, because I feel like at least for now they're going to remain a constant threat. I'm handling it way better right now than I was a week ago, though. This week I spent probably just over 20 hours at the school library, working on a report that was due yesterday. I also worked on it this last weekend, which is why I didn't write a blog post. There are so many things I want to be doing instead of work, but none of them are even that big. I'd rather be watching a movie, or writing a blog post, or doing a sudoku puzzle, or plotting out my next meal.
I've never actually been able to get any work done at school. This is why, Monday after classes, I went to the school library and combed through it looking for a quiet place to work. I found that I actually really enjoy sitting downstairs in the silent section of the library, at one of the little private study carrels. Yeah, sure, I still had distractions, that's what happens when I'm doing my work on my computer—the internet is a very large distraction. So maybe out of 20 collective hours, I only worked for about 15 of them. It doesn't matter, I still wrote an 18 page strategic business report and turned it in.
So my next thing to focus on is a couple of book essays due next Friday. I'm a quick reader, so that's not a problem, and one of them is to be done with a partner, so that also eases a little of the stress off me. After that is exam week, and the exam that I need to focus on is Friday, so I have about a week to study after I get the book reviews turned in, and I think it will work out just fine.
I managed to get myself my own cheerleader to help me stay focused and positive. I was talking to my friend Morgan at some point last week, and I told her that I was stressed and overwhelmed. She told me to tell her about it, so I did. Now she's been checking up on my progress every day, and just being extremely helpful overall. I was feeling pretty hopeless before, and I'm not sure that I could have snapped out of it without her to encourage me. Yay, Morgan.
Now, I'm getting really excited. Ever since I adopted this more positive attitude, I can't help but think of the future and how close I am to where I want to be. If I can continue getting back on track, a year from now I will be in the middle of an internship and only a few months away from graduating. That's absolutely insane, I feel like I just started yesterday. So now I've been spending quite a bit of time looking for internships in various cities in the US (in order of preference: Seattle, San Francisco, and NYC), because I want to do my internship closer to home. I want to move back to the US after graduation, and I feel like an internship in the US would help me make my European Studies bachelor degree a little more relevant to an American company. I really love living in the Netherlands, and I'm really not looking forward to leaving it behind, but I am looking forward to going somewhere new. As much as I do want to live in the Netherlands, I don't want to work in the Netherlands. Besides, I miss Mom and Dad, and if I get a job doing what I want I can save money to come back and visit every once in a while. And I'm sure my friends would come to visit me. It'll work out in the end, I'm confident of it.
I'm a work in progress, guys.
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