24.

24 pounds I have lost here in France. I've been here for 13 weeks.  I worry about going back to the US. I don't want to gain it all back. I'm going to have to go on daily long walks or something.

I guess Europe just sits well with me...  Even in London, I expected to have gained a bit back because I felt like I ate like a pig in London. But even there I lost weight.  With all the bread that I eat in France, I should be gaining weight. I really love it.  Someone suggested it was all the walking, but I really don't do that much walking.  I walk between home and the bus stop, that's not far. Then between the bus stop and the school buildings, also not very far. Occasionally I might go downtown and walk around a bit but never very much and definitely not very often.  Of course, there have been some of my weekend excursions where I did a lot of walking.  Paris, London, Amsterdam and Carcassonne all definitely killed my legs.  That's not much though...  I don't know.



And as a closing for this, I just want to tell you that I'm extremely sick and tired of this family that I am living with.  I get it, I'm not the perfect person they expect me to be. I'm really tired of being yelled at for being myself. Not even 10 minutes ago, my host mother walked into my room and started yelling at me because she doesn't understand why I bothered wasting my parents' money (MY PARENTS DIDN'T PAY FOR THIS, LADY, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT. I PAID FOR IT. MY MONEY.) in coming here to do things I could do at home because I don't talk to anyone, I don't ever go downtown, I don't go anywhere. I don't understand how she has any right to say any of that stuff.  Up until this point, I've literally been gone every single weekend visiting other cities and other places. How do you come off saying I don't go anywhere?  And you know what, after a long day of 2-3 hour classes (Not to mention our nice long 2 hour lunch breaks where I sit around and talk to people or go downtown. You know, those things that she says I never do.) I can't help it if I just want to come home.  I can only tell a person so many times that I don't like to go out with friends 24/7 before I'm just really tired of this.  I'm tired of all of it.   I don't care how much of a waste you think I've made, lady.  None of this feels like a waste to me.  The only thing that feels wasted is the fact that I had to live in your home.  You know one of the main reasons I've tried to go somewhere every weekend is because then I don't have to be HERE.

I'm just done. I've been trying and I can't try any more.  I've reached my limit with these people. I am going to talk to Ryan and Robina tomorrow and if they can't get me out of here I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't be here anymore.