I am done with being here. I just want to throw that out there. I am so done with this family that I have to live with. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
I've suddenly been doing a lot of things that a lot of people think are absolutely insane... Alright, maybe I am a little insane, but I feel that I am well within my reason.
I cancelled my spring semester in Spain. There were a lot of reasons that I wanted to go, and a lot of reasons why I didn't want to go. It does make me sad that I don't get to live on the beach in southern Spain. And I'm definitely more than a little sad that my sister doesn't get to come visit me there. Also, I was really looking forward to learning about Spanish culture and especially try out some Spanish food. On the other hand, I have been thinking more and more lately that maybe I just don't want to study Spanish that badly. It would be a really fun experience, yes. But it's a lot of money that I could be putting to a better use.
Speaking of which... I'm in the process of enrolling at a Dutch university to start in the fall--meaning that I'm quitting my school in the States and starting over. I guess I just decided that I do really want to move to the Netherlands, and there is no better time than now. I don't need to explain myself or justify that because it's my life and they are my choices, but I do know that quite a few people think I'm insane for it. The point is, I've already screwed up a lot with my schooling at Boise State. The only classes that I have actually passed are my language classes and one calculus class. They don't transfer to the school in the Netherlands. But I don't need them to. I want to start over. I want to start right. Without failing classes and making mistakes. If I try to finish school in the US first, I feel like I would really be wasting time and money. And, as my mother pointed out, it's better to make a move like that when I am young and do not have too many personal belongings or things like that to worry about. Moving into an apartment in Boise for 3 years to finish school would mean I would need to obtain a lot more personal belongings... The more I have thought about this, the more I really feel like I am doing the right thing.
I'll be heading home in sixteen days. I'm so ready to leave France. I'm very sad that I have to leave Europe though. I do like it here... My host family has kind of ruined this for me. I will be back though! We're officially done on the 15th and then I fly home on the 21st. I want to find something to do for those days in between but I'm not sure that I could... It would be cool to be able to go to Italy or one of the places I haven't been yet, but I don't want to spend that much money and I have no one to go with. I might just be stuck here in Pau, with my host family...
I'm craving food right now. Particularly because I'm starving. I would like a Spanish tortilla, but I also want cheesy hashbrowns (or hashbrowns with gravy), but the thing I want most overall is black beans and rice. I feel like it's been a million years since I've had black beans and rice.
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